Bill Bailey's Lot Read online

  ‘Oh, I’m sure there’s no dirt on it, Sammy. And it’s a lovely piece of work.’ Bill picked it up, making sure that he held the spout in place; and turning to Nell, he said, ‘I bet that’s poured some swanky cups of tea out. What d’you say, Nell?’

  ‘Yes, I bet it has at that.’ Nell looked down on Sammy. ‘It must have come from one of those big houses, the toffs,’ she said.

  ‘Aye, must ’ave. Don’t see many like that about; china ones with broken spouts, an’ brown ones, heaps of brown ones without lids or ’andles off, but nothin’ like that.’ He turned now to confront Fiona again. ‘D’ya like it, missis?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, I do, Sammy. I…I think it’s splendid. I’ll give it pride of place in the china cabinet. Put it on the top shelf in the china cabinet, Bill, please, will you?’

  They all watched Bill gently move some Coalport cups and saucers to one side to make a place for the teapot. And after closing the door he stood back and said, ‘You’re very proud of your Coalport china, Mrs B; well, I’m sure at one time it had that very teapot to match it.’

  It was noticeable that not one of the children as yet had spoken, and Bill, looking at Willie, whose face was bright as if with pride, said, ‘It’s good to have a thoughtful friend. What d’you say, Willie?’

  Willie looked at Bill but didn’t answer. Then Bill, addressing Katie, said, ‘What d’you think of it, Katie?’

  Katie looked at him, glanced at her mother, then, looking at Sammy, she said, ‘I think it’s very nice. And I think it was very kind of you, Sammy, to give it to my mother. It must have taken a long time to clean it up.’

  ‘Aye, it did’—Sammy nodded back at her—‘’cos it was black in parts.’

  ‘I’ve got a nice teapot. I’ve got a whole teaset; it’s in my doll’s house.’

  ‘Yes, but those are toys.’ Willie was almost spitting the words at Mamie now. This’s a grown-up teapot. Well, what I mean is…well…’ But he couldn’t express what he meant, and so Bill said, ‘It’s all right, laddie; we know what you mean.’ Then looking at his watch, he said, ‘Well, we must be off.’ And now turning to Sammy, he said: ‘As I told you, we’ve all been invited to visit somebody, so we’ve got to go now.’

  ‘Well, there’s nobody stoppin’ ya.’ The aggressiveness was back in the tone, the defence was up again, and as the small figure turned for the door Bill grabbed at his arm, saying, ‘Hold your hand a minute and let me finish. You know, you’ve got as big a mouth as I have.’

  This brought a titter from the children.

  ‘You know what?’ Bill was bending down looking into the stiff face. ‘You’ll grow up to be the same as me. Now you wouldn’t like that, would you?’

  ‘Don’t know, might. You’re all right in parts.’

  Bill straightened his back, closed his eyes and turned his head away for a moment; then looking down at the boy again, he said, ‘Well, the part that’s all right is asking you if you’d like to come to tea the morrow?’

  The boy didn’t answer, but turned and looked at Fiona, his piercing eyes asking a question. And she nodded quickly at him, saying, ‘Yes, that would be nice if you came to tea tomorrow.’

  ‘Thanks, missis.’

  ‘And thank you, Sammy, thank you very much for your present. I’ll never forget that you gave me it, and I’ll always take care of it.’ Sammy’s face worked: it seemed that all the small muscles were vying with each other. His eyes blinked, his nose twitched, his lips moved from side to side, and his clearly marked eyebrows were pushed up as if trying to escape from his hair; then he turned from the company and marched through the hall. But just as he reached the door Nell’s voice checked him, saying, ‘Hold your hand a minute! Look, I’m on me own, at least I am till four o’clock when I have an appointment.’ She sniffed now and tried not to glance in Fiona’s direction. ‘And there’s one thing this lot who are going out don’t know yet, and that is if they’re going to be invited to tea; but I can tell you, you are.’

  ‘Who with?’ He glanced sidelong up at her.

  ‘Me of course, next door. That’s if you want to come. I’ve just made a cream sponge and it’ll go begging, as this lot don’t want it.’

  There was a murmur from Katie, which was hushed by Bill’s saying, ‘Well, that’s settled that. See you the morrow, young Sammy, eh?’

  ‘Aye, all right. What time?’

  Bill pursed his lips; then addressing Willie, he said, ‘What time?’

  Willie did not return Bill’s look but, glancing at his friend, he said, ‘Any time you like.’ And on this he marched past Sammy and out of the front door, and the rest followed him, with the exception of Fiona who, turning to Nell, said quietly, ‘Thanks, Nell.’

  ‘You’re welcome, Mrs B.’

  ‘Will you lock up for me?’

  ‘Yes. Go on, I’ll see to everything. And in case you’re not invited to tea, I’ll bring what’s left of the cream sponge round, that’s if we leave any.’ She was now looking down on Sammy. ‘On second thoughts we won’t leave any, will we? Will we, Sammy? We’ll stuff our guts, eh?’

  The small boy smiled up at the woman: she was speaking his language and he said, ‘Aye. Aye, we’ll stuff our guts.’

  After Fiona clicked her tongue and said, ‘I’ll have a word with you, Mrs Paget, when I return,’ the boy stood watching her walk towards the car before, looking up at Nell, he said, ‘That means you’ll get it in the neck for sayin’ guts.’

  Nell put her arm around the small shoulders and pressed him to her side, and it was standing thus that the occupants of the car saw them as they drove out of the gate. And when Katie remarked, ‘Look! Nell’s hugging him,’ Fiona wondered why the sight should create in her a guilty feeling; it was as if she had missed an opportunity of some sort.

  They had been on the journey only two minutes or so when Katie, bending forward, tapped her mother on the shoulder, saying, ‘Are you going to keep that teapot in the china cabinet, Mam?’

  ‘Well…for a time, yes.’

  ‘The spout’s broken, did you notice?’

  ‘Yes, she noticed, Katie.’ Bill’s voice was not his usual bawl, but there was a definite note in it that pressed Katie back into the seat as he went on, ‘But spouts can be mended, and the whole can be replated and I’m going to see to it that it’s done.’ He did not add, ‘And it’ll probably cost twice as much as a new one would.’

  ‘I know that tip, Dad, where he got it from,’ said Mark.

  ‘How d’you know it?’ Bill half turned in his seat; then brought his gaze quickly back onto the road again. ‘It’s yon side of Bog’s End; you’ve never been that way.’

  ‘Oh yes, I have. Roland’s father drove us round that way in the car.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, he said that Roland should know how, well, everybody should know how the other half lives. He has patients up that end.’

  ‘I thought he worked in the hospital?’

  ‘He does at times. He operates there. But he also sees people outside.’

  ‘Private?’

  ‘Roland says, some and some.’

  ‘He sounds a man after me own heart.’

  ‘It’s an awful part, Dad: dreadful houses and the gangs rampage at night, Roland said.’

  ‘Then you should thank your lucky stars you don’t live there, Mark.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind living where Sammy lives.’

  This insertion into the conversation came naturally from Willie. And it was Fiona who turned round and said, ‘Oh, you wouldn’t? But then your wish is easily satisfied: you can pack your bag any time you like and go round there and live with him. Can’t he, Mr B?’

  ‘Well, I suppose so, if he wants to so badly. He could go an’ try it for a time, anyway. It’s not a bad idea.’ He glanced at her; but Fiona, looking straight ahead, muttered, ‘You know I was only joking.’

  ‘What did you say, Mrs B?’

  ‘I was merely talking to myself.’

  ‘You know,�
�� said Bill now, ‘I don’t think this is going to be a happy visit at all. The lady of the house takes them out and buys them things and nobody is satisfied; then some kind little fellow scrapes on a tip till he finds a present for the lady of the house, spends hours cleaning it, presents it to her, only for it to be criticised from all quarters.’

  ‘I’m not criticising it. I never criticised it. I think it was a very, very kind gesture.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it, Mrs B. But I haven’t heard much approval from the rest of the family. The only one to my mind who seemed to have a real grip of the situation was Nell. She’s another one who wants sorting out, but you’ll have your work cut out there. Whatever’s happened to make Nell behave as she’s doing she’ll sort out herself; and mind, you’ll not get to know what it is until she’s ready. She’s kept mum before, remember. Anyway’—his voice rose—‘let’s forget about everything else but that we’re going out for an afternoon’s jaunt and have been invited to meet Sir Charles Kingdom. And let me tell you lot back there, it is an honour you are about to partake in, for, as I sum up that gentleman, he doesn’t scatter his invitations about. What d’you say to that, Mrs B? Am I right or am I wrong?’

  ‘What I say, Mr B, is please keep your mind on the road else you’ll still be bawling your head off when you drive us all under that bus in front.’

  At the sound of explosive laughter from the back seat the atmosphere changed…

  From the moment the car left the long winding drive and swept round the large lawn towards the front of the house the children seemed to be struck dumb; even Mamie stopped her chattering. Not a word was spoken as they mounted the eight shallow steps to the stone balcony that fronted the house.

  When Bill pulled the iron bell pull to the side of the black oak double door, Fiona had hardly time to cast a warning glance around them before the door opened and a smiling middle-aged woman dressed in a black dress and a small white apron said, ‘Good afternoon,’ as she pulled wide one half of the door. And not one of them had hardly time to take in the huge hall with the stags’ heads sticking out of the wall at each side of the broad staircase before a large woman came hurrying towards them and, holding out her hand, said, ‘Good afternoon, Mrs Bailey.’ Then, ‘Good afternoon, Mr Bailey.’

  These greetings exchanged, she then looked at the children and said, ‘What a healthy looking quartet. Will you come this way? He’s waiting for you, fuming as usual. You won’t have to mind the smoke.’

  Fiona, holding Mamie by the hand, followed their hostess, the other three children followed their mother in single file, and Bill brought up the rear. Then they were in a long room that seemed packed with furniture of all kinds, but mostly easy chairs and couches with little tables dotted here and there.

  For a moment Fiona could imagine she was back in her own home as Lady Kingdom called out, and in no small voice, ‘For goodness sake! Charlie, put out that cigar. Can’t you leave them alone for five minutes? Here are your friends.’ And before her husband could make any response, she turned towards the company, saying, ‘Sit down; make yourself at home. But you, Mr Bailey, better sit near His Nibs because he’ll want to chatter. Have you had a nice journey?’ She was looking at Fiona.

  ‘Yes, very pleasant, thank you.’

  ‘You are much younger than I expected. From my husband’s description I thought you must be in your forties, whereas you look as if you’ve just hit your twenties.’

  The end of the compliment laid some salve on Sir Charles’ idea of her age, and, looking up at the big hearty red-cheeked woman, she was tactful enough to say, ‘I think Sir Charles was nearer the mark.’

  ‘Nonsense. Nonsense. And now tell me your names.’

  She addressed Mark first, and he, rising straight to his feet, said, ‘I am Mark, Lady Kingdom.’

  ‘Mark. That’s a very nice name.’ She inclined her head towards him. And now he took it upon himself to introduce the others by saying, ‘This is Katie, my sister, and my brother William, and my adopted sister Mamie.’

  ‘Katie, William, and Mamie, all nice names. I have a daughter called Katie.’ She was bending over Katie now, but for once Katie had nothing to say. Yet, if she had spoken her thoughts she would have answered this lady, ‘One day I’ll have a house like yours, but I won’t have so much furniture in the room. This is comfortable but cluttered.’

  ‘What about tea?’

  The intrusion caused Lady Kingdom to turn to her husband: ‘All in good time,’ she said. ‘I thought you’d like a chatter first. And for goodness sake put that cigar out, will you! Everyone isn’t impregnated with smoke like I am. Some people can’t stand it. You know what happened when Irene came, she was sick.’ She turned now to Fiona, saying, ‘Do you like houses? I know your husband builds them, but do you like looking over houses?’

  ‘Yes, I do indeed, especially houses like this.’

  ‘Well, come along then and leave them to have their chatter before we have a cup of tea. I won’t say I’ll give you a guided tour but I’ll show you the main rooms, and then Jessie can take the children around the rest.’

  Bill watched his squad, as he thought of them, rise quickly from their chairs, all their faces looking bright with expectancy, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before their tongues were loosened.

  The door closed, he now turned and looked at the old man propped up in a long basket chair, with, to his side, a table on which stood a box of cigars and an outsize ashtray.

  ‘You don’t smoke, Bailey?’

  ‘No, sir.’

  ‘Drink?’

  ‘Oh yes, sir; I like a drink.’

  ‘Well, what’s your poison?’

  ‘Whisky as a rule, and neat.’

  ‘Like one now?’ He pointed across the room. There’s a bottle in that cabinet there.’

  ‘If you don’t mind, sir, I won’t at the moment. I try not to when I’m drivin’ and especially when I’ve got five passengers.’

  ‘Well, yes, you’re right. I see your point. There’ll be tea in shortly. Ah now. Well’—he sighed—‘I’d better get down to the reason I asked you here today. First of all, mind, I wish it was to say that you’ve got the contract, I do really, yes I do, but that remains to be seen. I never thought there’d be so many firms interested in it; but of course it’s a concern that will take some long time. It’ll put somebody on their feet. But, it’s about the trouble you’ve been having.’

  ‘Trouble?’

  ‘Yes, trouble with your men, things happening.’ Bill’s lower jaw fell slightly. ‘You…you’ve heard about that?’

  ‘Oh yes, yes.’ The old man grinned wickedly. ‘I have my ear to the ground. I can hear a horse galloping five miles away, or words to that effect. You know what I mean?’

  ‘Not really, sir. Why should you have come to know what’s been happenin’ in the yard to my men?’

  ‘Because things like that get about, Bailey. You know as well as I do, one firm can’t blink but the other one hears about it. And I was very sorry to hear when one of your men was hurt, attacked, mugged they call it now, don’t they? And then a car was stolen; and another one had his place broken in to. And it could go on if it’s allowed to go on.’

  ‘You know who’s behind this, sir?’

  The old man reached forward, took a fresh cigar from the box, tore off the band, took up something that looked like a pair of pliers, used it to nip at the end of the cigar, then lit it, before he replied, ‘Yes; and it wasn’t Brown as you imagined, although it’s the kind of thing that I wouldn’t put past him if he had enough money to pay the culprits.’

  Bill had moved to the end of his chair and, leaning forward, he said, ‘It’s someone that’s in for the contract, then?’

  ‘No, no. They wouldn’t do things like that. But on the other hand I don’t know…No; not in this case, no. You’re a sharp fellow, you know, Bailey, the kind of fellow who would say to himself, there’s no flies on me; yet, you don’t seem to have an inkling who’s at you?’
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  ‘No, I don’t sir. Except for Brown, I don’t know of anyone else who would have it in for me.’

  ‘Don’t you? Have you heard these words: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?’

  Bill’s jaw actually did drop now. His mouth went into a gape, his cheeks pushed up, his eyes narrowed, his mouth even went into a wider gape before he said, ‘Never! Not her?’

  ‘Yes, her. You should never say to a woman that you wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole, no matter what you might think of her. That’s what you said to her, didn’t you? Whatever happened in your workmen’s hut that day, you insulted her, you made her feel small, and that was something she had never been made to feel in her life. She admitted so much to me. She had offered you a position in London and you took it that she was offering herself.’

  ‘She was. Believe me, sir, she was.’

  ‘Oh, yes, yes, I believe you. But on the other hand it takes a lot to make a woman like Eva Brown cry. I had never seen her cry, not even after she had let herself down with Brown and had to allow herself to marry him. She didn’t cry unless it was in the privacy of the night. But I happened to come across her not less than half an hour after she had left you that morning. And she was still white hot with rage. You know, you’re not a very tactful man, Bailey. All right, you didn’t want her, you preferred your wife, but you could have let her down gently.’

  Bill gulped heavily before he managed to say, ‘Sir, you weren’t there, you don’t know what happened. She laid herself open to me. I’ve had experience of a great many women in my time, I must admit, but not one so brazen as she was. And then I asked her what about Brown, and she said she was divorcing him. And next I asked her if all the businesses she wanted me to manage were in her name and she said, yes every one of them; Brown had just been a sort of manager. She inferred she had let him play the big man but she held the strings and wore the trousers. And then the final note was when she said that if he were to sue her he would get less than she was going to give him in redundancy pay. That was the word, redundancy pay. No matter what the man was, and I can say now, I hate his guts, always have done, but at that moment I was sorry for him and for the life he’d had to lead with a woman like her, a calculating cold fish: she hadn’t taken into consideration my wife or the children; she had been used to getting her own way, stepping on people. It was then I told her that if she was the last woman on earth I wouldn’t touch her with a bargepole. It’s a well-worn saying that, common if you like, but I meant every word of it. And I still do; I don’t take back anything I said that morning, tact or no tact.’